Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Come on, Everybody.....


We call each other sister and brother
And gather to worship the Lord,
We politely smile as we meet in the aisle
As if in sweet accord,
We sit through the preachin’, nod at the teachin’,
Discreetly watchin’ the clock,
But if God hung up charts to reveal our hearts
I believe we would get quite a shock…..

Good grief! Why won’t the preacher sit down?
Does he know how fast restaurants fill up in this town?
Did you notice that Suzie has another new shirt?
She probably needed it to match her new skirt,
Mrs. Parker’s shoes must have cost a mint!
And Freda’s new hairdo makes her look like a kid,
Why can’t we sing a more modern song?
Mrs. Brown says anything but old hymns is wrong,
Why does Hank have such a smug look on his face?
Does he think maybe he owns the place?
COME ON EVERYBODY, LET’S SING A NEW SONG,
WHY CAN’T EVERYBODY JUST GET ALONG?

But still we nod and worship God,
This loving righteous King,
In ‘holy fear’ we gather here
To read His Word and sing,
We join in prayer, the cup we share,
Release to God each grudge,
And we admit there’s nothing hid
From this most righteous Judge…..

But isn’t the guy doing announcements boring?
Maybe that’s why someone behind me is snoring,
He should stop his rambling and ‘cut to the chase’,
Does he realize how much time he wastes?
Does nobody know how to keep it brief?
Oh, he’s sitting down, that’s a relief!
And we’re sitting on benches, though some prefer chairs
And still make mention of it in their prayers,
Which reminds me, they should pray for more discretion,
Last week they allowed a most lengthy confession!
COME ON EVERYBODY, LET’S SING A NEW SONG,
COME ON EVERYBODY, LET’S JUST GET ALONG

The ‘House of Peace’ where worries cease
Then, why all these complaints?
They preach too much on such and such
And not enough to saints,
Too much on his glory, not on the Story
Too little on how we live,
And still we fret ‘bout what we don’t get
Yet never seek to give

Today I’d like to sing a brand new song,
COME ON EVERYBODY, LET’S JUST GET ALONG,
In true humility and with one accord,
COME ON EVERYONE, LET’S WORSHIP THE LORD,
Lift up our voices and gratefully sing
To the God of our choices, Creator and King,
Let’s worship together in Spirit and truth,
It matters not whether we’re aged or youth,
Let God be our focus and not each other,
In true love let’s call ourselves sisters and brothers,
We’ll gather as servants around the Lord’s Table,
Worship in reverence, as long as we’re able,
And sing from our hearts His most worthy song,
SO COME ON EVERYBODY, LET’S GET ALONG

All Rights Reserved
Janet Martin

Yes, it is a re-run from a few years back
but the message still applies:)


This is meant to be
a humorous look at something
that in reality is no
laughing matter.

Be completely humble and gentle;
be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Make every effort to keep the unity
of the Spirit through the bond of
peace. Eph. 4:2-3

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

In Heaven......


We won’t hear words like ‘that’s okay’
Or, ‘tomorrow will be a better day’
No ‘over-drawn’ or ‘over-due’ in Heaven
We won’t hear ‘it’ll be alright’
Why, we won’t even hear ‘good-night’
We’re gonna speak a brand new tongue….. in Heaven

‘I’m sorry’ and ‘don’t worry’ will be obsolete
It’ll be glory, glory when at last we meet
Dancing on a golden street, in Heaven
We won’t ask for Tylenol or any medicine at all
No band-aids, pills or hospital
We’re gonna have brand new bodies…..in Heaven

No foot in my mouth disease
No ‘will you forgive me, please’
At last we’ll be perfect righteousness…..in Heaven
No diets, fads or fashion rules
Hey kids, there won’t be any schools
Cause there aint gonna be no fools…..in Heaven

Are ya’ thinkin’ it’ll be grand
When we get to that sweet land?
Are ya’ thinkin’ you wanna be there too…..in Heaven?
There’s just one way to that fair place
You gotta believe in Amazing Grace
It’s the only way we’ll see God’s face…..in Heaven

All Rights Reserved
Janet Martin


....the former things are passed away. Rev 21:4

Friday, June 11, 2010

Home Is......






Home is where you come to rest
A shelter from the storm
Home is like a little nest
Safe, secure and warm
Home is where you say ‘at last’
You’re through with this and that
Your goal when workin’ day is past
And where you hang your hat……

Home is where your heart is light
And pleasant laughter rings
A haven of simple delight
Where beggars can be kings
Where children run like tumble weeds
Upon familiar grass
And memories, the fruit of seeds
Abounding as they pass

Home is where we love and trust
A place to be together
A humble palace in the dust
Unhindered by the weather
Home is where you eat your meals
And where you feed your cat
Where you find how belonging feels
And where you hang your hat

Oh yes we’re sure of that
It’s where you hang your hat!!!!



.......or fling it, or perch it or park it
or set it or toss it...........

All Rights Reserved
Janet Martin

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Mere Humor or Mirror Humor


Time is a ruthless painter, so I do declare
I despise my mirror but the mirror doesn’t care
If it’s the truth it’s telling well I’d beg to differ please
Cause I’m still feeling dapper but for creaking in my KNEES!!!!

Some mornings I sprint out of bed just like I used to do
But then a cramp assails me and I holler out for you
We limp like weary soldiers to the nearest easy chair
You bring me an ice-pack and cushion for my REAR!!!!

I stopped counting wrinkles when the wrinkles became me
My blue eyes still twinkle, I just wish that they could see
But when we turn the lights out it’s so good to be alive
Because when I am sleeping I still feel like twenty-five!!!!!

All Rights Reserved
Janet Martin

okay...I know this is a little corny!!!!
I was inspired after being regaled
with tales of what we ladies get to
look forward to at menopause!!!!!

While it isn't really what I used in this poem
I decided our only coping mechanism may be
a good sense of humor!!!! So, CHEERS!!!!!!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

If the Moon Could Talk....


If the moon could talk
What tales it could tell
Stories of youth and
Of old folk as well
He is the all
Encompassing eye
King of the night
In a velvet sky

If the moon could talk
He would write a best-seller
And folk would call him
A lucky feller
For there are no secrets
On his silver knee
No rendezvous
That he cannot see

If the moon could talk
Do you think he would tell
Of our midnight walk
Beneath his spell?
But the moon cannot talk
So no one will know
Save for the sassy
Breezes that blow

If the breeze could talk
What tales it would tell…..

All Rights Reserved
Janet Martin

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Broken Mirror


I’m still young and beautiful
I’ve still got a sparkle in my eye
I’m filled with great ambition
I just wish somehow that time would cease to fly
Oh, I’ve still got a lot of dreams
Things I think that I would like to try
And I’m still young and beautiful
Sometimes I wish the mirror wouldn’t lie

God sure must have loved me
As I behold my cherished friends of youth
And we’re not really very old
Mirrors these days just do not tell the truth
And if you asked me just how old
I feel, well I’d say twenty and a day
But oh, you broken mirror
I just wish you wouldn’t look at me that way

I’m still young and beautiful
Those wrinkles are just laugh-lines on my face
And I’m not really very old
I’ve just lived a few more days of grace
And I’m sure if you caught my stare
You’d see a youthful twinkle in my eye
I know, ‘cause I can feel it there
Sometimes I wish the mirror wouldn’t lie

All Rights Reserved
Janet Martin

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Mail Humor


I was looking through the mail today
And I sighed wearily
Bills, Bills, Bills, more Bills!!!!
Sure wish there was something for me!!! 

All Rights Reserved
Janet Martin

"Hey Bill, you've got mail!"